Thankful!

Year 2014 is coming to a close already!

I started this year in high hopes and made it a year of gratitude. I said to my self, "I would count my blessings and name them one by one."

I thank God for the gift of life,

... for good health of mind and body

... for my family; the best husband, adorable children

... for good friends and loved ones

... for providence; Clothe, food, shelter

... for inspiration, motivation and life's experiences

... for God's favour, mercies and unending love

... for everything

This year also hit me with a great loss. I chose not to count this as loss. but I am grateful to God for He says that we should be thankful in ALL things.

In all, I am grateful to God for 2014 and I look forward to a better year 2015.

I wish everyone a Happy new year in advance and pray that year 2015 would be a year where visions would be made clear, decisions made, actions taken, miracles received, hope restored and dreams would be fulfilled.

To a prosperous year ahead...

Cheers!

Toxic Relationships

A toxic relationship is any association between two or more people that is harmful or damaging to one or more of the parties involved in ways that constantly drains one’s energy in both obvious and subtle ways.

Relationships should be founded on admiration, acceptance, mutual respect and appreciation( this list not exhaustive), but can in time become unhealthy and take on a poisonous aura. 

Toxic relationships interfere with those involved. It makes living a productive and healthy life difficult.

Toxicity in a relationship is caused by the incompatibility of the persons involved in the relationship.  

In some cases, there is no one to blame for the toxicity, rather the toxicity is caused by the inability to commune and establish healthy boundaries.

In other cases, one party, targets and prey upon others for their own personal needs and gratification.  The prey is seeking to emotionally and psychologically dehydrate others, removing all that is possible for their own selfish benefits.  Such individuals have a manipulative style, and will frequently maneuver their way into any relationship that they perceive as beneficial. 

Toxic personalities are too self-absorbed and preoccupied with their own emotions, interests, needs, and goals to be aware of the needs, goals, interests and emotions of others. 

Toxicity can manifest in all forms of relationships;  Husband – Wife, Parent –Children, Sibling – Sibling, between friends, Dating relationships, In the workplace etc.

ARE YOU IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP? 

Here are a few questions to engage your thoughts on

1. How does this person(s) make you feel?
2. Do you feel safe in their presence?
3. Do you feel your children, partners or others are safe?
4. Have you ever felt emotional or psychological distress when interacting with the person(s)?
5. Do you feel that you are always on guard around this individual?
6. Have you ever been caught in the web of their triangulation? 
7. Is the person manipulative or conniving? 
8. Have you ever felt the person may push moral, ethical, or legal boundaries?
9. Do you ever feel as though the person adds unnecessary challenges to your life?
10. Do you feel emotionally drained after dealing with the person?

Do you have any TOXIC relationship story? Please share with us.

Still Here...

Hello,

                      

I am still here. these past few weeks has been quite challenging for me, all in all I have learnt some life lessons.

My dad has been feeling quite not too good for a while and was managing well. I attributed it to the effect of things going on around him, an unhealthy relationship with his wife( My step mom; my mom is late. ), my elder ones not supporting financially etc. Lately, his illness had a bad turn and he is currently in the hospital.

My brothers as usual, have not been quite supportive in terms of finance and physical care. We the girls have been the one supporting financially all the while. 

My sisters are married and have young kids to attend to. I also have young kids. In all, I have  to visit the hospital during the week to give some moral support to my step mum and also finance most times.

I really feel for my Dad, this is when he needs the most support; physical care and love most importantly, and he is not getting it. 

I have talked to my brothers to at least try to help in the hospital as daddy is not mobile and needs support with mobility, feeding and personal hygiene but they are all claiming busy. I understand that they need to hustle, but really nothing tangible has come out of it. Medical bills keep coming and when i tell them about this bill, the response i get is an "OK", Are you kidding me? 

I spoke to Older relatives and a response I got from one of them was: "Male children are not wired to think that way, it is female children that takes care of the children." Another WOW! ( This aspect I would like to talk about another day.

Another said I should focus on my children and not worry so much, good advice and I guess she understands, knowing fully well my brothers' behavior. But can I really take my mind off it. It is beginning to take its toll on me, my chest aches, sleeplessness, headaches, etc.

 My dad is lying there in his old age and practically begging his children to support him. This is so sad! I just need my brothers to be more responsible. I don't mean in terms of finance alone, though we need all the money we can get now, but to show their love and care for their Father, who has been there for us all his life, now that he is old.

The bills keep piling, grateful to God we have been able to sort some of them, and more is still to come.  Like my Dad would say:

 IT IS WELL!

I pray that God in his infinite mercy, Look upon my father with mercy, grant him quick supernatural healing by the stripes of Jesus Christ. May he also forgive the sins of the family and help us to be united. May He bless the work of our hands, prosper my siblings and take afflictions far away from us in Jesus' name. Amen.

JUST DO IT ALREADY!

Today I decide t o put my pen to paper.

I am doing this because I need an outlet for me to open up  and be ME. Not being just a daughter, friend, wife, mother, colleague... Erm, is that even possible? LOL

Ok, so let me get started . The aim is to JUST DO IT.

Start up what I have always wanted to do: create a platform where we can support each other to be the best we can be, bringing the best as answers to issues that drown others, encourage someone along the way and we all get better by the day.

Phenomenal Naija Mama blog is going to revolve around Motivation, Empowerment, Relationships, Family, Life issues, Entertainment and Loads more...

Looking forward to enjoying every moment of this.

Cheers!